The list of new cliches infecting our language is legion. "Things of that nature" when you run short of examples, or "interesting" as a catch-all when you can't think of any other way to respond to someone, or "How are you" when you don't actually care how someone is, but a simple "hi" just seems too limp.
It's not just casual conversational crimes that have succumbed to grammatical grotesques. Epicurean linguistics is paying a deep price with one phrase that curdles my blood, then boils it, then sets it ablaze with a flambe' of disgust....
"Did..Not..Disappoint'
I see this EVERYWHERE!
"We went to (insert local favorite here) and as usual it did not disappoint"
"My husband ordered his favorite steak and it did not disappoint"
"Kimmy served us and her usual kind and pleasant demeanor did not disappoint."
What in the name of all that is zesty and delicious does this even mean? Do people who say this understand how devastating disappointment can be? Being disappointed may be the most negative emotion someone can experience other than grief Have you ever seen the tears well up in a child's eyes Christmas morning when get socks and underwear instead? Or, a 70s native American upset at what has happened to his ancestral lands because of all the garbage (good thing he didn't live to learn about the Great Pacific Garbage Patch)
...or Tom Brady in the myth-making documentary where he sheds giant tears because he didn't get drafted until the 6th round landing him in the ideal situation where he could win seven Super Bowls, marry a supermodel richer than he is and deflate footballs to his heart's content? Boo..frickin' hoo, you poor, poor man living life on third base.
"Did Not Disappoint" is possibly the lowest form of a compliment. It's akin to asking someone how their day was and they respond "Well, I woke up this morning, so that's good." I know the world is a tough place. Compassion is an endangered species, empathy is on life support and insulting someone based on their personal beliefs has become a brand and a lifestyle. Do we really need to set the bar so low that quality is rated as a meal that hasn't reduced us to an allergic reaction or projectile vomiting.
Ok, fine, part of the problem is that everyone has complaints and no one has a solution. I have a solution. Truly.
"Oh Kimmy, she's so fantastic, she gave us her normal high quality service"
"That steak was as good as it usually it, and it's usually pretty damn fine.."
or..
"Normally the sushi at Sushi Shack is delicious, but tonight it exceeded expectations."
Language matters. Let's keep it positive, people....or I'm gonna be really disappointed.
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