An Online Food Group from Naples, Florida: A post in one act

This was originally posted in a social media food group as a parody of people who complain about all the wrong things and remove all the joy out of eating out.  While most feedback was positive, there were more than a few comments that thought it was real and were offended.  Within 10 minutes of posting it was reported for abuse and taken down. Tribalism and anger should have no place in the world of food.  Lighten Up, Francis.

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I know people go back and forth on this group about whether to post negative comments, but after our experience this past week, I had no choice but to speak up.

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We had been to this unnamed place in early October on a Tuesday and had experienced the most wonderfully priced happy hour. $15 bottles of wine that were almost as good as the Trump wine we had last week, even though they were from California, proving that even the worst places can have something good about them. The food was also delicious. My friend had the fried calamari that they said was delicious. I'll take their word for it since I've never had seafood before and don't want to start now! I love Italian food so I had the Caesar salad which had amazingly crispy lettuce and just the right amount of croutons.

 

We decided to invite three other couples to share this experience. We showed up at 5 45 on a Friday and it took the TEN MINUTES to seat us even though there was clearly two tables big enough to sit our party at and they even had RESERVED signs on them, assuming they were reserved for big parties like ours. It took them another FIVE minutes to hand us menus and bring us water, and another FIVE minutes because I prefer mine with no ice. I know that the government is paying people to stay home, but that's no excuse for the people working to not pay attention to us right away!

 

We were handed their very large menus, but when I asked for the Happy Hour menu we were informed that not only did the happy hour end at 5 o'clock, but they didn't even do it between November and May because season! How rude; we were repeat customers and we should be treated special because we came back and brought people with us!

 

We politely declined ordering any appetizers because they gave out the most delicious free bread, which I usually take extra home to make Freedom toast with the next morning. We ordered our main dishes. One of the guys wanted to get New York Strip but we reminded him that New York is full of libtards so he opted for the good ol' American Waygu filet mignon instead. Unfortunately, he ordered it medium and you could still see the pink inside! If we wanted raw food we would have gone to one of those gross sushi restaurants (well, not me, because I don't eat seafood.) As for me, well, the waiter recommended the lasagna but after I told him I didn't like ethnic foods, I opted for the spaghetti and meatballs.

 

My friend, who is our most adventurous of the group and knows good Italian because his grandmother is from Utica, New York, lived up to their reputation by having the linguine and clam sauce, which they DID NOT LIKE, plus they said the portion was WAY TOO SMALL.

They asked us if we wanted dessert, but with these prices we decided we better skip it and we just ordered coffee instead. I also ordered more of the free bread for the morning. When they brought the coffee they had the nerve to put the check on the table RIGHT AFTER WE GOT OUR COFFEE and after just a half hour they were pacing around us. The worst part was that when we checked the bill, they had charged me $1.50 for the bread! After giving me a dirty look when I took all the Sweet and Low (I mean, can you even BUY Sweet and Low?), we finally had had enough of their rude stares and left.

 

See, this is why I like chain restaurants, because no matter where you are, you are going to get the EXACT SAME EXPERIENCE!

 

What could have become our favorite restaurant just lost our repeat business. I almost told everyone in the crowded restaurant and the 20 people waiting outside for their tables about our TERRIBLE experience but I didn't want to be mean and if they were going to treat everyone like they did us, they needed all the business they could GET!